Hold onto your butts everyone I’m gonna wash my fuckin dishes
The thing about washing dishes is that you always think it’s gonna take sooooooooo much time and be so annoying. But then you find something to listen to, you get settled, you get started, and you realize that you were correct holy shit the cheese is glued on
I made this post 24 hours ago and now there’s new fuckin dishes!! Sisyphus rolls a dirty pasta bowl up a hill endlessly while half-listening to a youtube video that autoplayed after the video you were actually listening to is done
they need to invent a food that i do not have to do any work to prepare and also is cheap and also is nutritious and also tastes good and also that doesn’t hurt my tummy
Any setting where the elves have weaker booze than the dwarves isn’t committing to the bit
I mean, we’re talking about people whose lifespan is Yes.
“Oh, the weak wine? That is for children. I am two thousand years old, and I daresay one sip from this highball would knock you on your ass for a week.”
Look, there’s this weird thing people do with high fantasy where they want elves to be immortal/extremely long-lived snooty aristocrats and also somehow incapacitated by imagining the taste of salt too hard. “Orcs and dwarves have the hardest booze” no they don’t, they have work in the morning! In any of these settings, elves would pregame harder than hobbits party and everyone else has shit to do tomorrow.
The average high elf builds up the drug tolerance of a mid-70s Hollywood producer and then spends three centuries studying alchemy. While humans seek immortality, the Immortals seek the elusive “philosopher’s cocaine.”
Will never see eye-to-eye with anyone less than the people who treat their pets like wandering ronin instead of valued family members. Like oh there goes Bronson our uncollared, chipless chocolate lab out of the permanently open back door again. If he comes home in three days after subsisting on garbage we’ll be mildly thrilled to see him again but if he succumbs to his natural predator, the 2006 Toyota Camry, that’s just the circle of life
6 hour workday maximum i’m not kidding, if it can’t be done in that timeframe it doesn’t need doing.
this doesn’t apply to jobs like childcare
If i worked in childcare and my 6 hours were up i would start putting babies in ziploc bags and shipping them to Turkmenistan listed as endangered fruits and vegetables
BTWWWW if youre subscribed to her mailing list you know but if not: new mitski album titled the land is inhospitable and so are we incoming :3 first single comes out on wednesday
